The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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