the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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