i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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