im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
