Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
