I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
