you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
