im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
