do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
