In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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