Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
