I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
