I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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