so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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