You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
