I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
