Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My balls are so social today.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
