Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
