I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
