Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
