that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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