I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
