thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
