well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Come see our sink grown plant.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
