he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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