using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
