There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
