you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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