Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
being pregnant is like rehab
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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