im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
