I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
