I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
MIDGETS
????
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
