Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
