you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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