Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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