so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
