I want to stick my p in your. b.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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