sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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