I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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