i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Enjoy the penises
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
