I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
