their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
