somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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