just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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