Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
