they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
