At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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