I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
