Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
