I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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